Hello, well this is weird. Well it’s not really but as I write this right now, you’re being transported to the past (ooooh spooky noise) because as I write this, none of you know that I’m pregnant, but as you’ll be reading this, you will know.
But I wanted to jot down my thoughts from the past few weeks, as I’ve found the first trimester quite overwhelming, but I know this is the case for most women.
It’s a strange time, you’re excited and happy, but your anxious and keeping everything quiet. It’s like you won’t let yourself get too excited because you feel you’re tempting fate, and those 12 weeks just seem to drag on in a midst of nausea and tiredness.
I have found these weeks to be a whirlwind of emotions and I wanted to write down some words, in the hope that 1. it makes me feel better and 2. you may be reading this as you’re in your first trimester, feeling totally out of sorts and if it makes you feel better, then this has done its job.
I’m going to take you back now though to the beginning (no not that beginning) ((also before anyone asks NO IT WAS NOT THE SMUTTY NOVEL READING THAT GOT ME PREGNANT *if anything it had the opposite effect ha*))
Week 4 – The Sh*t Just Got Real Week
I took a pregnancy test halfway through week four, and as soon as I saw the words pregnant, I was shocked. I mean I’d spent the last week convinced I was coming on my period, I had all the PMS signs ; cramps, tiredness, sore boobs, moodiness, but when my ever so regular and dependable period did not show, I thought ‘what’s going on here?’
I took a test after being a few days late and although I was convinced that my period would rock up any day, I just wanted to know either way. Those three minutes waiting for the test to develop, seemed to be the LONGEST three minutes ever, and when I showed Henry, he was like ‘you look shell shocked!’ ‘ I was like ‘I am!’
We had been trying but not trying if that makes sense, we were going from the angle of, if it happens it happens. I was trying to be realistic and knew that things could take a while. We decided late last year, that 2020 was the year that we wanted to try to have children, and although we did have long talks about whether to because of COVID, we decided to just see what happened, and it happened!
I feel extremely blessed to have fallen pregnant quite quickly, I am honestly quite surprised, and feel incredibly lucky, I think that’s why I was so shocked, as I’d even expressed disappointment the week before to Henry when it felt like my period was coming!
I spent that week in a daze, I couldn’t think about anything else, I panicked, and shit got real. I was thinking stuff like ‘ oh my god where will the baby fit? What will Frank be like? How will I get work done? Will I be a good Mum even though I find a lot of kids annoying?’
I didn’t enjoy that week, physically I didn’t have many symptoms, just a few pms-y ones, mentally though I just felt weird.
Week 5 – Okay I’ve Calmed Down Now
Week 5 came, and I started to relax. I stopped panicking, and started to allow myself to be a bit excited. I even took a sneaky look at prams and baby clothes.
Physically I still felt pretty normal, I reckoned one day I had a craving for corn on the cob and Henry told me to ‘f**k off as it was too early for cravings’ I almost threw the corn on the cob at his bloody head.
We told our Mum’s this week, although I was going to wait a little longer, when my Mum and Sister turned up at the bottom of our driveway to drop off some anniversary presents, I just had to tell them there and then, I mean not exactly what I ever imagined, but you know, you have to work with you have.
Although I did worry about telling people too soon,I knew that if god forbid anything did go wrong, I would want the support of our Mum’s. It made it feel a little more real and exciting.
Week 6 : If It’s Not Beige It Isn’t Going In My Mouth
Week 6 was the start of intense anxiety and food aversions. I had a lot of cramping, and was convinced I was bleeding for most of week 6 which lead me to panicking that something was wrong.
I think my hormones ramped up this week, as one night during this week I ended up sobbing to Henry, as everything just felt so much. There’s SO many emotions going through your head, you feel so out of control and you’re happy but you feel like you don’t want to tempt fate, it’s a lot.
We decided to book an early reassurance scan at Babyvision, we feel extremely privileged and lucky that this was even an option for us, but I just knew it would put my mind at rest.
That week seemed to drag on waiting for the scan, during this week I suddenly went off everything. Chocolate, fruit, vegetables, lasagne, burgers, if it wasn’t beige then I wasn’t interested.
I did the weekly food shop and stocked up things like plain pringles, ‘I’m officially a boring bastard’ I text to my sister 😂
Week 7 Hello Jelly Baby
So we skip to week 7, because at my scan, turns out I was a few days further along than I thought and was now officially 7 weeks and 1 day! I was quite happy about this because the early reassurance scans had a greater rate of the pregnancy going full term at 7 weeks.
The scan was really surreal, we saw our little jelly baby, and their little heartbeat.
I was like ‘I wasn’t making it up, there is a baby in there!’
A teeny tiny baby, but a baby. Everything looked good and I breathed the biggest sigh of relief, my anxiety levels dropped and I stopped stressing.
However a personal favorite bit, was when the ultrasound technician said ‘oh I can tell your constipated’ and I was like ‘yep thanks for officially giving my husband an excuse to say I’m full of shit’ 😂 let’s just say a lot of bran flakes were consumed this week.
Week 7 was mostly filled with sore boobs, trying to work out what I wanted to eat, and tiredness. Officially cannot get through the day without a nap.
Week 8 ERM HI BOOBS
My boobs this week took a life of their own, and got really sore and grew out of nowhere. My boobs haven’t grown since I was about 12 so this is big news.
Henry’s started to refer to them as udders, so that’s really nice.
Me everyday in the mirror.
I also had my first craving (I think) a humble ham and tomato sandwich. I was in bed reading my book and bam, it was all I wanted. The next day I went out and bought the ingredients, and I ate that every day that week 😂
I was ravenous this week, but I still didn’t fancy much, so that was weird, trying to control the hunger but also trying to avoid anything that made me feel queasy.
I felt like towards the end of week 8, my nausea definitely passed a bit, I noticed it was much better on the days I worked out and found that sucking mints, Ritz crackers, and eating little and often helped to ease things.
Tiredness was still a go, I felt like a human sloth most days and I needed to go for a wee a few times in the night, I constantly had a dry mouth so I was always drinking but that related in many night time wee trips.
Week 9 – Guess Who’s Back
The nausea has returned, but whoever called it morning sickness is clearly a fucking liar or a man.
I seem to feel the worst in the evening, has anyone else had this? It’s usually after dinner, and then I lie in bed deeply breathing to avoid running to be sick. I mean such a joy 😂 BUT I do see every symptom as a positive. Even the rubbish symptoms, I have to tell myself this when I’m feeling green whilst I do the food shop, but it is a good thing.
Week 10 – Am I Getting A Bump Or Just Bloated?
So week 10 was my birthday week, wooo, tbh my symptoms kinda stayed the same, nothing really to report. I was quite constipated this week, I mean yes am I really discussing my toilet habits on the internet, yes, yes I am.
I thought I was starting to get a bump, but I think it was just me being full of shit. Literally.
Around my birthday, my Mum and Sister bought me some maternity/comfy bras and my boobs stopped waking me up in the night hurting, so that was a massive win this week. I also had my booking appointment this week over the phone so that felt like another milestone!
Week 11- Why Am I So Angry?
I feel like week 11 was my angry week, I was only thinking in the shower during this week how lucky I’d been with my mood and felt reasonably chipper for the whole time, and then the rage happened.
I was so angry this week, I was like the Incredible Hulk expect I didn’t rip my shirt and run round in my pants, but to be honest, I wouldn’t put it past me.
Everyone and everything annoyed me, I had to even google ‘is it normal to be angry during week 11 of pregnancy?’
I was literally like this for the whole week. Poor Henry.
I’m also SO forgetful, I have to write everything down and double check my diary, as several times I’ve booked stuff for the same day, or I’ve done something weird, baby brain is apparently very real.
Week 12 – Time For The Scan!!
We did it! Week 12!! It felt like we would never get here, but here we are week 12, finally the time for my 12 week scan and boy was I nervous.
I must of woke up about 5 times in the night with nerves, I was so excited but incredibly anxious about the scan, I just wanted with all of my heart for everything to be okay, and thankfully it was!
We have a very chilled, and well behaved baby according to the sonographer (not sure if they’re mine?) but they were kicking their leg up and I swear at one point stuck their tongue out (so more likely to be mine) and I just felt this WHOOSH of relief.
I had the rest of my tests that I should of have if I’d of had a face to face booking appointment, and well now that’s it till 16 weeks. And that’s the first trimester done! (Well I think it can go to 13 weeks, but for the sake of this blog post, we’ll stop at 12.)
I feel so excited, and grateful to be at this point, it feels like a lifetime ago that we found out we were having a baby and now it’s surreal to think it’s time to start telling people, and I just feel so much better knowing we’ve had the scan and our little baby is doing well. I feel so excited I can start to look at things like prams and clothes and start prepping for their arrival, whilst you never know what will happen, I do feel like a bit of a weight has been lifted.
The first trimester, has been interesting, for most parts I’ve had it very easy, I mean being hungry all the time, wanting to nap and just fancying carbs isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s felt very long, and I’ve worried a lot, and it’s been lonely. I would worry that every time I took a sneaky look at a pram I was tempting fate, but I just feel so grateful, blessed and excited that everything is okay, and now onto the second trimester.
i’m hoping some of these food aversions calm down and the tiredness subsides but we will see, and hopefully I’m not so much of a angry little lady 😂
So onto the second trimester we go, I’d love to know if any of you are pregnant – how are you feeling? How far along are you?
My Instagram DMs are always open if you fancy a chat!
And I will see you very soon in my next post 🙂
