When I left university, the first job I went into was retail. I stayed there for 18 months, and spent two christmasses working in a department store. Honestly, being an avid Christmas lover, working in retail sucked out the enjoyment for me. With that C word coming round very soon, I thought it might be funny to write a post about working in retail. I hope you like it, and if you think you’ll never get out.. you will, I promise.
When someone asks if you work here. ‘No I just wear this awful shirt for shits and giggles.’
When the till won’t scan a label and a customer jokes ‘ Oh it must be free.’ HAHAHAHAHAHA I’VE NOT HEARD THAT BEFORE.
When your manager catches you talking to your friend.
When you’re on the till and the queue is getting longer and longer, and it’s your lunch break.
When customers get angry at you cause something is out of stock. YES I BOUGHT EVERYTHING JUST TO SPITE YOU.
When customers comment on your appearance. Or ask if you have a boyfriend.
When a colleague gets you to help an extremely awkward customer.
When customers enter the store 5 minutes before the store closing and just walk round like they have all the time in the world. DON’T YOU HAVE A HOME TO GO TO?
Feeling like a superhero when you catch someone shop lifting and you report it to security in time before they leave the store.
When a colleague (not one of your pals) tries to talk to you in the staff canteen. I JUST WANT TO SIT IN SILENCE FOR A HOUR OKAY.
When you’re on the fitting room and someone comes in with a basket full of things and nothing is on hangers.
When someone leaves the fitting room, and they’ve left their 12 items all on the floor.
When someone asks for something that is magically going to make them a size 8, Miranda Kerr lookalike and then get angry at you when you can’t find that magic dress. I AM NOT GOK WAN PEOPLE.
When you ask a customer if ‘they’d like the hangers’ and they literally act like it’s a question of life or death. ‘YES. OH ACTUALLY NO. OH ERM YES.’ look lady I’m not asking if I can have your kidney, I just want to know whether you want the hangers!
When a customer tries to return something that has clearly been worn.
The customer who tells you their life story at the till.
The customer who doesnt get off their phone when you serve them or reply to your ‘Hello!’
When your pal is serving someone attractive.
The constant playing of Christmas songs.
Having 24 hours off at Christmas.
Forced into helping people buy presents for people who you know nothing about, and then they get shitty and say ‘oh that’s not really them..’ I’M NOT MYSTIC MEG.
Of course there are many more maybe one day I’ll do a retail problems #2! Thanks to my friends Liza, Grace, Emily and Jade for their help with some of these things and also who i am so glad to have met, even if it did mean 18 months of all these problems!